Princess Fleabag and the Missing Moggie PDF Print E-mail
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Princess Fleabag lay curled in a ball in front of the giant gargoyle Hippoheid. She had just returned from her recent encounter with the evil Chihuahua Lapan emotionally and physically drained and, though she was eager to take of Lapan once and for all, a catnap was long overdue.

Hippoheid, eternal watcher of the Littlecat Kingdom, gazed down at his princess and friend with adoring eyes. The gargoyle had performed his watching duties for centuries serving the various royal families that had come and gone and in all that time it was Princess Fleabag who had become his favourite Littlecat. She was a fearless though often impulsive princess constantly mischievous and playful with a stubborn streak that Hippoheid couldn’t help but adore. As he watched her little body rise and fall with each tiny breath he grew sad for her. These were such dangerous times for the Kingdom. The evil Chihuahua Lapan had already cat-napped one of Fleabag’s closets friend and was now forming some kind of Hound Army with which to invade the Littlecat Kingdom.

For a princess so young she had already endured so much. She had faced Lapan once already and barely come away with her life. As the Hippoheid contemplated Fleabags’ future a tear welled up in his enormous eye. The tear escaped and rolled down the gargoyle’s stone cheek stopping briefly at his top lip before dropping the rest of the way to the ground. The resulting splash of such a large quantity of water was enough to drench the sleeping princess completely and she awoke squealing and meowing every curse she knew.

When the sodden cat had finished screaming at him she stood before the gargoyle shivering and frail.

‘Oh I’m so sorry Princess,’ Hippoheid hastily apologised. ‘Please forgive me. I’m just so terribly worried about you.’

The princess shook the water from her fur and sat down on the only dry spot of the castle roof. She was too tired to be angry.

‘Oi careful!’ said a voice.

The princess and the gargoyle stared at each other in alarm.

‘Who said that?’ Fleabag asked.

‘Oh it’s only me,’ slurred the voice.

Hippoheid frowned and scrutinized the rooftop. Near the corner of the roof beside the dry patch of ground that Fleabag had tried to sit at was a pair of milk stained whiskers hovering in mid air. Hippoheid gasped and Fleabag followed his gaze.

The whiskers were suspended in the air at a height just above Fleabag’s own. A droplet of milk clung to the tip of them and they swayed slowly from side to side.

‘I know those whiskers,’ said the princess. ‘Is that you Spangle?’

The whiskers twitched and the droplet of milk fell to the floor.

‘It is indeed my princess, it is indeed. I’m back from my terrible trip.’

‘Whatever in the world happened to you Spangle? Where is the rest of you?’

Spangle’s whiskers drooped as he told his story. ‘I followed my heart Flea, just like you told me. The magical thread you gave me led me all the way to Dogtown. You know as well as I do there is no way I could get into Dogtown unnoticed and I just know Anastasia is inside so I decided I needed some magical help.’

‘But you’re not a trained Magicat Spangle,’ said Fleabag. Magic was not something to be trifled with without years of training.

The whiskers moved up and down in what Fleabag guessed was a nod of agreement.

‘I knows this Fleabag, I knows. That’s why I went to see old Casper. He gave me a potion. It made me invisible you see?’

‘I don’t see actually but I understand. Oh Spangle you really are a silly cat. Casper may be a cat friendly dog but he is rather eccentric and potions aren’t true magic. They’re unreliable and often have peculiar side effects.’

‘I knows Flea but could see no other way to get into Dogtown so I drank that potion up and now I’m a blank cat.’

The gargoyle sighed. ‘But being invisible is not enough to sneak into Dogtown is it Spangle?’

‘No, Spangle forgot on important thing about dogs. I forgot about dog’s noses. There’s no point in being invisible when they can see with their noses is it?’

Fleabag shook her head. A dog’s nose was like a third eye and they relied on their sense of smell almost as much as their sense of sight. Poor Spangle.

‘So what do we do now? We are no closer to rescuing Anastasia. With her gone the morale of the Kingdom is at a low and we’ll struggle to defend against any canine attack.’

The gargoyle stared out over the kingdom for an age. ‘You must help Spangle rescue Anastasia,’ he said gravely. ‘It is vital she is returned to the Littlecat Kingdom. The love between her and Spangle is unlike any other in the kingdom. Lapan knows this. It spreads to other Littlcats and is a special kind of wild magic. It gives the Littlecats strength and confidence, without it we are weakened and though I believe we can still defeat an attack from canine invaders we will suffer terrible losses.’

‘But Lapan is so powerful,’ Fleabag said meekly.

The gargoyle looked down at her. ‘Yes he is, and each day he will grow stronger and bolder but you have a cunning and guile that I have not seen before in any royal princess. Lapan has many weaknesses, if you exploit them you can defeat him but first you must deal with our invisible friend here. Go and see Casper and reverse the effects of the potion then you must try to rescue Anastasia, perhaps together you will have more success than Spangle alone.’

‘Is that is?’ Fleabag wailed. ‘That’s the plan you’re giving me? Not one for details are you Hippo?’

The gargoyle turned away. ‘Sorry princess, I can offer you nothing else. You must have faith in your self.’

Fleabag sighed. ‘Come on then Spangle let’s go see if we can make you visible.’ She said her goodbyes to Hippoheid rubbing her little cheek against his and left the Starcastle. It was a peculiar sight to see a princess and a pair of whiskers making their way across the kingdom so they took the back roads so as not to worry or alarm any Littlecats.

The fresh air and the long walk east was enough to wake Spangle from his milk induced intoxication and he retold the princess the terror of his journey into Dogtown when he realised that invisibility would not fool Dogtown’s guard dogs.

They quickly ran him out of town barking at his invisible legs and snapping at his blank tail. Spangle was convinced he may have lost a centimetre or so off the end of his tail as it throbbed painfully but as he couldn’t see it, he couldn’t be sure.

When they reached the eastern border of the Littlecat Kingdom they lay down to rest at the top of a small hill. At the base of the rise was the track that led all the way to Dogtown. They could see the grey outline of the town marring the straight green line of the horizon. A haze surrounded the town which Spangle informed Fleabag was dust and grime and dog hair. Dogtown was a filthy place in complete contrast to the immaculate Littlecat Kingdom and it was no wonder the illustriously vain Chihuahua Lapan desired their kingdom so much.

‘It’s not far to Casper’s’ Spangle reminded the princess. ‘He lives outside Dogtown just off the track.’ It had been a long time since Fleabag had visited old Casper.

After a brief catnap they set off down the hill and onto the track. A few hours later they stood outside a two storey kennel with white flecked walls and a dark red roof and door. Fleabag rapped her paw on the door and waited for an answer. Inside a commotion of crashes could be heard followed by several dog curses which Fleabag was thankful she didn’t recognise.

When the door opened Casper peered out at them. ‘A cat?’ he growled. ‘A bloody cat knocking on my door, I should bite your bloody head off!’ Casper threw opened the door and stepped outside with a growl. ‘I’ll eat you for breakfast,’ he yelled looking past Fleabag for sign of any other dogs in the area. He winked at Fleabag and ushered her in quickly. ‘Bloody cats, begone with you!’ he said loudly then slipped inside closing the door quickly behind him. ‘Sorry about that lassie. Never know who is listening these days, terrible times, terrible.’

‘I know Casper; it’s good to see you again.’ The princess stepped forward and bowed her heard. Casper chuckled and nuzzled the little cat with his nose.

‘We’ll have none of that formal stuff here princess. There’s enough of that when I visit the Starcastle but in my home we’re all friends come and sit yourself down.’

He led the princess into his kennel and they lay down in two wicker baskets with blankets inside. The kennel was a warm cosy place with a big fire in front of the wicker baskets and blankets everywhere. The walls were lined with shelves of bottles containing all sorts of liquids and pickled things which Fleabag had no desire to know the identity of. At the back of the kennel was a huge work bench with beakers and bubbling basins connected together with spiralling pipes and tubes. A green liquid simmered inside one of the beakers and a pungent yet strangely pleasant smell emanated from it.

Casper smiled at her. He was a plump dog with eyes that crossed ever so slightly. They were both circled with patches of brown fur that resembled spectacles. He was an eccentric dog spurned by his fellow canines for his once outspoken sympathy for cats. In recent years he had been forced to keep his opinions to himself. Since the evil Chihuahua Lapan had taken power no dog had dared speak out in favour of the Littlecats. Casper knew there were many other dogs like him who bore no ill will to the cat kingdom but they all lived in fear of Lapan and his hound army.

Nestling into his basket he gnawed absently on a rubber bone. ‘So what brings you to my humble kennel? It’s not safe for a cat around these here parts especially one of such stature travelling on her own.’

‘Well I’m not quite alone Casper,’ the princess told him nodding at the floating whiskers beside her.

‘Ah the young Spangle. How was your trip to Dogtown?’

The whiskers drooped. ‘I didn’t get very far, no thanks to you. The dogs could smell me before I even reached the gates. Why didn’t you remind me when you gave me the invisible potion?’

Casper’s nose scrunched. ‘You didn’t ask for an invisible smell potion and heck my nose isn’t what it used to be.’

Spangle sighed irritably. ‘So can you make me visible again?’

‘Nope,’ was Casper’s short reply.

Spangle groaned. ‘Surely there’s something you can do?’

‘We could knit you a jumper,’ Casper proposed. ‘We’d see you then, though you might be a bit warm.’

Spangle ignored the suggestion. ‘How will Anastasia ever forgive me? She’ll never love an invisible cat.’

Fleabag held out a paw tentatively and stroked the place where she thought Spangle’s head might be. ‘She’ll still love you Spangle, even when she can’t see you.’

‘We could cover you in paint,’ Casper suggested.

Spangle’s whiskers drooped so far they were almost vertical.

‘Casper that’s not helping,’ said Fleabag, suppressing a snigger, ‘There must be a way we can reverse the effects of the potion.’

Casper peered at her oddly. ‘Why the potion will wear off if Spangle just acts himself.’

‘It wears off!’ exclaimed Spangle. ‘Why didn’t you say so?’

‘You didn’t ask.’

Fleabag rolled her eyes. ‘Okay Spangle you jus need to be yourself and we’ll see you again, now we’ve sorted that problem out we need to address the bigger issue. How do we get into Dogtown to rescue Anastasia? Clearly invisible potions are not the answer.’

‘Why not use the secret passage?’ said Casper.

‘Secret passage!’ cried an exasperated Spangle. ‘There’s a secret passage and you let me drink an invisibility potion. I nearly lost my tail old dog. Why didn’t you tell me about a secret passage?’

‘You didn’t ask.’

Spangle let out a defeated sigh.

‘Can you show us this passage Casper,’ Flea asked.

‘Of course I can but it’s a long time since I had need of it. I used it to escape the Kennel Castle when Lapan took power. I was just a pup back then; a lowly servant working for King Benson cleaning his brushes and polishing his collars. He was a wonderful king though perhaps not the strongest of character. When Lapan and his hounds stormed the castle Benson surrendered immediately. I think he was scared of Lapan’s magic.’

Fleabag swallowed hard, he wasn’t the only one.

‘Anyway Benson escaped with some of his servants myself included. We left through the secret passage and parted ways to hide our trail. Benson was never seen again.’

‘Where did he go?’

‘Nobody knows but if he is still alive he will be a grand old dog now.’

Casper checked the coast was clear outside and they left his kennel. He led them into the woods that skirted the walls of Dogtown. Fleabag was lost in her own thoughts. How she wished Benson had been able to put up a fight or that he would return with his own army to reclaim his throne. Instead it was left up to her to face Lapan but her first priority was Anastasia.

‘Here we are,’ announced Casper. He had taken them deep into the woods to where a large oak tree had toppled. Beneath the long dead roots was a hole in the ground that tunnelled under the fallen tree. ‘Follow this tunnel until you reach a wall. Beyond this wall is the Kennel Castle. It is a dangerous place for any cat and if Lapan discovers you he will show no mercy.’

‘We have no other choice,’ said Fleabag almost to herself.

‘Wherever my Anastasia is I must follow,’ Spangle said with surprising courage.

Casper looked at the princess then the hovering whiskers. ‘Bravery or madness I cannot tell but I wish you luck all the same.’

They said their goodbyes and ventured into the dark mouth of the secret passage.

 

 

‘I can’t see you,’ muttered Spangle tripping over some loose earth.

‘Now you know how I feel,’ Fleabag remarked.

‘This tunnel is pretty long isn’t it Flea? Do you think Casper may have got it wrong?’

Fleabag had been having her own doubts. ‘Dogtown is still quite a distance from the entrance in the woods. I think it’s a little farther we should be there soon.’

Soon arrived quickly in the form of a great stone wall that barred their way. Spangle groaned thinking they had reached a dead end and cursed old Casper’s senile mind but Fleabag could taste the bitter sparkle of magic in the air.

This was no ordinary wall.

The princess sniffed at the base of the wall finding a gap beneath the rock. A trace of magic seeped out from the space tickling her whiskers. She followed the magical scent up the rock face to where the locking mechanism was hidden. To the un-magically trained like Spangle all that lay before them was an impenetrable grey wall but Fleabag could sense the lock and with a deft flick of her tail and a whispered spell the wall momentarily dissolved to sand.

Fleabag and Spangle quickly stepped through as the wall closed behind them.

The sight that greeted their eyes was terrifying. They had entered the lion’s den, or at least the dog’s den. The tunnel had taken them not only into Kennel Castle but into Lapan’s own throne room. They had entered through the back wall right beside a raised pedestal on top of which sat a large red velvet cushion with gold tassels hanging from each corner.  The evil Chihuahua himself sat brooding on top of his cushioned throne surveying his royal chamber where a pack of twenty dog soldiers were performing a rigid march for their king.

Fleabag and Spangle were rooted to the spot, too frightened to move in case they were spotted.

But whether they moved or not made no difference. The smell of cat was pungent to a dog’s sensitive nose and it didn’t take long for each and every dog to stop in surprise and turn their noses toward them. When Lapan faced them Fleabag saw a brief flash of shock pass across his face but his bulging eyes quickly narrowed in a calculating stare and a hideous grin snaked across his muzzle.

‘Welcome princess,’ he said not moving from his cushion.

The pack of dog soldiers ceased their march and rushed into a rigid attack formation their teeth bared, their ears pressed back against their heads.

‘It’s a surprise to see you here,’ continued Lapan, ‘but you are a most welcome guest. Yip yip. Come sit by throne I’ve got so much to tell you.’

Fleabag didn’t want to move. She wanted to turn and run all the way back to her Pink Starcastle.

‘Please I insist,’ Lapan said menacingly.

Shakily Fleabag walked toward her nemesis keeping as much distance as she could from the baying soldiers.

‘Oh don’t worry about them.’ Lapan gestured towards his dogs. ‘They’re just hungry for cat blood but they’ll have their rewards soon enough. Soldiers, leave us. Fetch my prisoner.’ Lapan barked his commands and his dog soldiers immediately obeyed hurrying from the room until they were alone with Lapan.

‘Hello Spangle,’ Lapan said sniffing the Spangle’s scent. ‘You must be here to rescue your beloved is that right, hmm hmm? ’

Spangle said nothing but Fleabag felt him holding on to her tail.

‘Well you can take her home with you if you like, though I don’t think she’ll want to come with you. She’s an awfully tired kitty cat.’

‘What have you done to her Lapan?’ Fleabag questioned angrily; if he had hurt her best friend…

‘She is in no pain princess. Why don’t I show you? Behold my secret weapon.’

Fleabag turned as Lapan gestured to the pack of dog soldiers wheeling his secret weapon into the room. An enormous glass ball was suspended above a ring of adjustable mirrors that could be moved in any direction by the dog operating the machine in the centre of the ring. Inside the glass ball was an orb of bright light which was stored by powerful magic. The light filtered down through a glass tube and was released above the mirrors to cast out large beams of light. One of these beams was directed onto the corner of the wooden platform that supported the machine and curled up in the centre of the circle of light was the cat they had come looking for.

‘Anastasia!’ Spangle cried out and ran toward her.

‘Spangle stop,’ Fleabag yelled after him. ‘Don’t touch her.’ Fleabag saw Spangle’s whiskers stop short of the machine twitching anxiously.

‘You have guessed at the power of my wonderful creation hmm?’ Lapan sneered. ‘Yip yip, I am the smartest of doggies don’t you agree?’ Lapan was on his feet now excitedly hopping up and down his worm-like tail wagging furiously. ‘Look at what I have invented princess and bow down to my greatness: the dastardly evil but cunningly brilliant Catnap Inducing Sunbeam Machine.’

Fleabag knew the machines purpose the moment she had spotted Anastasia. Somehow Lapan had found a way to store sunlight and create sunbeams at will. No cat could stay awake in a sunbeam. This was a weapon of cat nightmares.

Lapan cackled wildly. ‘With this weapon I will render your kingdom’s army useless as they will be unable to resist the urge to sleep. The Kingdom of Littlecats will be at the mercy of my marauding dog soldiers, yip yip.’

‘Let her go,’ yelled Spangle helplessly.

‘Take her stupid cat. If you can wake her you are free to go.’

Fleabag saw Spangle’s whiskers move toward Anastasia. ‘No Spangle you’ll only get caught in the beam.’

Spangle’s whiskers went taut. All he wanted was to be reunited with his treasured love. She lay in front of him like a sleeping angel yet to touch her would mean his own capture. He meowed in frustration and ran at Lapan.

Expecting Spangle’s attack Lapan had already drawn magic from the storage gems on his collar and cast a protective shield around his body. Spangle struck the shield with a loud clang and his two whiskers dropped to the floor.

The princess moved to his side. ‘Enough Lapan, it’s me you want.’

Lapan gargled with amused pleasure. ‘Princess, princess, how naive you are. I admit I look forward to your imminent death but it is only a fraction of what I desire. Your kingdom is the real prize and now that I have two of its most loved citizens and its princess the Littlecats will bow down to my almighty greatness, yip, yip.’

‘The Littlecats will never bow down to you,’ Fleabag retorted. Little did Lapan know Fleabag was stalling for time; baiting him into one of his self indulgent monologues. While he spoke the princess was whispering a magical spell to remove the thread around Spangle’s neck. She had created the thread when Anastasia had first been catnapped to mend Spangle’s broken heart and lead him to her. The thread had fulfilled its purpose but it was still infused with some of Fleabag’s most powerful magic.

‘Can you picture your kingdom?’ Lapan droned. ‘Your soldiers napping while my Hound Army marches into your kingdom and storms the Pink Starcastle, yip yip. You cats think you are so superior but it is I that will conquer all the lands.’

A chorus of barks and howls followed Lapan’s speech as his dog soldiers cheered their great leader.

While Lapan basked in the adoration of his followers Fleabag removed the thread from Spangle’s neck and whispered a new magical spell. The thread grew between her paws until it coiled on the floor at her feet.

‘Spangle,’ she whispered, ‘get the dog soldiers away from the Sunbeam Machine. Try and gather them on the other side of the room.’

Invisibly Spangle nodded trusting his princess and friend despite his reservations. He approached the dog soldiers and stood before them setting his whiskers into the most defiant of angles he thought possible.

‘Call yourself soldiers?’ Spangle jeered hiding the fear in his voice. It was said dogs could smell fear. ‘You’re nothing but a rabble of street mongrels. I’ve chased tougher rats than you dumb animals.’

Every cat hungry soldier had stopped howling and was now eyeing the invisible cat. A burly Alsatian trotted toward Spangle. Spittle foamed at either side of his large jaws and he towered over Spangle’s whiskers.

‘Ah’m gonna eat you up little cat,’ the Alsatian growled. The dog glanced up at Lapan for permission. Lapan nodded and a tiny smile appeared on both the Alsatian and his master’s face. ‘I might no be able to see you cat, but ah can smell you.’ The soldier sniffed deeply taking in Spangle’s scent. Spangle backed away looking all the time to Fleabag for the next part of what had seemingly become a suicidal plan.

With the dog soldiers goaded and slowly advancing on Spangle Fleabag began spinning the magic thread. Like a lasso she spun it faster and faster and as it gathered speed it created a breeze that wafted out toward the Spangle and the soldiers.

‘Eh Flea…’ Spangle whimpered as more soldiers surrounded him. ‘I could really do with some help here.’

Fleabag spun the thread faster creating a stronger wing which blew out toward Spangle. The Alsatian that led the advancing pack stopped and sniffed the air. The other dogs stopped too, every soldier sniffing the air in confusion.

Spangle had vanished.

With every spin of the thread a gust of magical air blew away Spangle’s scent, not only could the soldiers not see the cat, they could no longer smell him either.

‘Fools,’ Lapan yelled, ‘look for the whiskers.’

Spangle was already moving, darting one way then another, running between the legs of one dog then hopping on and off the back of another. His whiskers were a blur and every so often he would kick or scratch a soldier who could only bark or snap at nothing. The pack was in chaos.

‘Leave him. Take the princess,’ Lapan ordered.

All at once the pack turned toward Fleabag but this was what she had been waiting for. She stopped spinning the thread and used it as a whip. Once, twice, three times it cracked against the mirrors of the Sunbeam Machine, the fused magic in the thread helping to angle the mirrors perfectly so that a blinding white beam of light struck the soldiers. They barked wildly and covered their eyes biting at anything that moved which tended to be each other.

Lapan let out a scream of frustrated despair and began to draw magic from his jewelled collar. Reacting quickly Fleabag lashed out again with her whip. The thread cracked against a fourth mirror and the beam of sunlight that trapped Anastasia fell upon Lapan instead. Lapan was blinded though the princess knew that the strength of one mirror would not incapacitate him for as long as the dog soldiers. They had to escape while they had a chance.

Seeing Anastasia free from her prison Spangle was already at her side trying to rouse her. She had been asleep for so long that she was too weak to walk. Fleabag raced to help carry her and together the trio ran toward the secret passage and back into the long tunnel.

The last thing Fleabag heard as the left the throne room was Lapan’s wicked screams. ‘War is upon you princess, war is upon you!’

 

 

On the return home they stopped briefly at Casper’s Kennel. They had no time to spare as a pack of dogs would surely be sent after them but with Anastasia so tired they were forced to stop for Casper’s assistance.

Fortunately Casper had had the foresight to create a potion for Anastasia’s ailment knowing full well that she would be exhausted from sleeping for so long.

Spangle carefully spoon fed his love the potion and waited for its effects to take hold. They all held their breath until Anastasia finally sighed and opened her tired green eyes.

‘Spangle?’ she said wearily.

‘You can see me?’ Spangle asked in surprise.

‘No, but I’d recognise those droopy whiskers anywhere.’ She raised a paw to Spangle’s invisible face. ‘I’ve missed you,’ she said.

Spangle bent over and kissed her rubbing his cheek against hers. ‘I’ve missed you too,’ he said.

Despite the danger they were in Fleabag couldn’t help but smile. Her two best friends were reunited. Seeing them together and how much they were in love lifted her spirits.

‘We have to go,’ she told them reluctantly not wanting to interrupt their tender reunion.

Anastasia noticed the princess for the first time. ‘Of course Flea, it’s good to see you. I hope my Spangle hasn’t caused you too much trouble.’ Weakly she got to her feet.

‘You know Spangle,’ the princess joked. ‘We’ve missed you Anastasia, I’m glad you’re back.’

Anastasia smiled and nuzzled the princess’ cheek. ‘Let’s go home,’ she said.

‘But what about me, I’m still invisible,’ said Spangle.

Casper opened the front door and checked if all was clear. ‘Don’t worry you just have to be yourself and you’ll be visible again.’

‘Come on Spangle,’ said Anastasia pulling Spangle by the paw. ‘I don’t care if I can’t see you. I still love you.’

As she said this a tiny glimmer of colour appeared behind Spangle’s whiskers and a fraction of an eye blinked at her. With Anastasia’s love Spangle would be back to himself in no time.

The princess, Anastasia and the increasingly visible Spangle thanked Casper for all his help and fled his kennel setting out west toward the Littlecat Kingdom. The journey home was long and tiring and though Fleabag was delighted to have rescued Anastasia she could think of little other than the dark times ahead. War was coming and with Lapan’s infernal machine the Littlecats stood little chance of defending themselves. There was one possibility that Fleabag had previously refused to consider but with all hope dwindling she had few choices left open to her. Without help the Littlecat Kingdom would go to the dogs.

Far away to the west was another kingdom. Though they were once of the same family the Bigcats were not a friendly people but it now seemed that the princess had little other choice. She must venture into the Bigcat Kingdom and seek out help from a reluctant ally.

 

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