I like tortoises. They might well be my favourite animal though monkeys and cats often fight for that place. If scientists were to mess around with genetics maybe they could make me a Catmonkoise. How cool would that wee fellow be? It would have a shell of course and a long surly tail. Round furry ears and the biggest cutest eyes. It would look very wise, like a tortoise and it would quite clear that it knew how wise it was and that you were a lesser being, just as my cat does. It would clamber all over you though and curl in your lap and hang from your arms. Yes I’d like a Catmonkoise please.

Splicing several different species of animal together is perhaps too big a step for scientist just yet. What I would like is to maybe change the size of a few creatures. I have a theory that every animal that is huge would be so much cooler if it was tiny and every animal that was small would be great huge. For example who would not love to have a wee pet elephant plodding about their desk? Or a mini giraffe? You could have a howl safari in minature proportions in your front room. Try and deny that you would want that.

On the other hand how awesome would it be to have a three metre high tortoise that you could ride? Granted you wouldn’t go very fast but who cares, it would still be cool. You could fly across the country on the back of bats or pigeons if you’re a loser.

The exception to this of course is insects. Under no circumstances shall insects be large. None whatsoever.  If this rule is in place at the expense of other animals remaining the same size then so be it. I will enjoy the fantasy for the thought of spiders the size of cars scurrying about is just too terrifying